I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
