I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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