the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
