They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
