Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
