Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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