how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize