He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
