It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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