Will you blow on my dice?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
