I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
