I hate your face
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
