Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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