I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
why do cheetos always look like penises
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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