I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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