I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
