That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
