just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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