her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
