i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
