He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
