No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
