Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
