Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
