would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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