I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
