clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
