you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
