just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
