I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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