My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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