I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
