Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
