i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
