I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
