If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
