hotel room ftw
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
