he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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