she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
