I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
