Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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