ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
