He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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