Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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