I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
you never un-have a 4some
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
