Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
