keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
