So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
