Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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