she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
