Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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