So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
