real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
