Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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