Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
