we're blogging at a bar
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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