You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
