It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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