I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
