I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize