the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
