your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
