she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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