She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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