i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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