i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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