I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
