Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
